Guide to Being a Psychopathic Girlfriend how to drive a guy crazy and eventually make him leave your ass.
It's easy, just follow these 11 easy steps
1. Jealousy - Anybody that glances at, talks to, or breathes the same air as your man is considered a threat.. even the little old lady he helped across the street. Bitch was holding onto him for dear life. WTF?!
2.Bitch fits - make a big deal out of everything every chance you get. If he isn't doing something right like getting you a regular straw instead of a bendy one, unleash the fury. Let his dumbass know you only drink from bendy straws. What is wrong with him?!
3.Insecurity - If for whatever reason he doesn't pick up your phone calls you must automatically assume he's up to something bad. If he doesn't call you back within .4 seconds, call him another 50 times and if he still hasn't and leave him 25 bitchy voicemails. How dare he miss your phone calls??? Who the hell does he think he is?!
4.Privacy - What is that??? What's his is yours and what's yours is yours. You check his phone, emails, MSN chat logs, paper mail, etc.
5.Females - any living, breathing thing that has a vagina = RED FLAG. You keep those vaginas away from your man at any cost.
6.Friends/Social life - He cannot have any friends. Friends DO NOT exist if you do. Period. He is not allowed to talk to anybody but you and maybe his mom but for no longer than 2 minutes.
7.Time - He has to be with you 24/7. He has to do everything with you.. even if it's just sitting there watching you breath.
8.Control, control, control - You bascially have to control EVERY aspect of his life. When he wakes up, when he brushes his teeth, what he wears, what he does, who he associates himself with, etc.
9.Threats - Threaten him about anything every chance you get. If he says he wants to break up with you, threaten to burn his house down. If he says he wants to break up with you again, threaten to slit your wrist. (HAHAHAHA)
10.Abuse - When things aren't going right and he's not listening, kick his ass.
11.Stalking - When your jealousy arises uncontrollably = stalk him When you bitch fits never end and your insecurity gets the best of you = stalk him When you cannot keep those vaginas away from him and his friends are talking to him (ahhh !! $%#$) = stalk him WHen he's not with you 24/7 = stalk him When your empty threats aren't working anymore and your physical abuse isn't keeping him in line = stalk him.
I do not asscoiate myself with females like this. But I WILL laugh my ass off when a guy is being bitched around so bad by his girlfriend. If you are a guy and have suffered any of the above from your girlfriend, grow a pair of balls and backhand slap a bitch!
English
hi5 Coins